Podcast S2:E7 - Working With Your Menstrual Cycle with Miriam Tocino

You can connect with Miriam over on Instagram or on her website!

Show notes:

(Please note that these are computer generated and therefore imperfect).

Ellie: Welcome to the capable collective podcast, a place for women who want to ditch the overwhelm and learn to run their business with ease. I'm your host, Ellie McBride. And I firmly believe that as women and non-binary folks, we are best as a collective. So together with my expert guests. We are sharing the tools, systems and ethos behind a simple yet thriving business.

This season, we are talking all about working with your natural rhythms and the episodes will be coming out every other Wednesday. I'm so excited to dive into topics like working with your menstrual cycle, living with lunar cycles, living seasonally, working from a place of rest and creating boundaries and so much more.

Ready to dive in. Let's go! 

Miriam is former architect, turned software developer and programming teacher. As a result of her recent motherhood. She's passionate about making computers more accessible, friendly, and easy to understand for young children and encourages them to become curious about what technology is and how it works.

She's the author of Zerus & Ona, a book series designed to make learning about computers. Fun. And motivating for the whole family.

Today. We are here with Miriam Tocino. I'm really, really excited to have this conversation. We're going to be talking all about cycle tracking and working with our natural menstrual cycle.

Um, Miriam and I has just informed me that she's been doing this for about three years and I'm super duper excited to dive into this. So are you ready to do our rapid fire round here Miriam? 

Miriam Tocino: Yes. Excited to be here. Thank you, Ellie. 

Ellie: No problem. 

So kick us off. Where are you from? 

Miriam Tocino: I'm from Spain,South of Spain. 

Ellie: And what are your preferred pronouns?

Miriam Tocino: She her. 

Ellie: And when did you start your business? 

Miriam Tocino: Almost three years ago. This is my third year. 

Ellie: Okay. Um, and so tell us a little bit about it.

Miriam Tocino:  Um, well, I'm, uh, I write books for children's, uh, for children about computer related topics. To get them excited about the work of technology and help parents open up the conversation around it at home.

Ellie: So cool. So her books are all about ad they're called Zerus & Ona  and they are really, really cool. Definitely check them out. 

Miriam Tocino: It is a zero and a one living inside your computer in the binary world. And, uh, they like to share their adventures. I think the third book at the moment. 

Ellie: So tell me what you love about your work.

Miriam Tocino: I think the thing that I like the most is its multidisciplinary approach. [00:03:00] So one day I'm doing colorist studies like this morning, for example, and other day I'm writing the stories another day and building the website and other day I'm customizing liquid templates, right? Like, and it has all these different, uh, fields at once, which makes it very excited for me.

Ellie: So you get to wear a lot of hats and that's fun, right? Yes. Yeah. I think that's one of the most fun parts of entrepreneurship. It can also be one of the overwhelming bits of entrepreneurship, but that's what the balance is all about and finding where to outsource and what to streamline and those kinds of things.

Miriam Tocino: That's what we are going to be talking about today. 

Ellie: Yes. 

Miriam Tocino: How to be at ease and wearing all those hats. 

Ellie: And how did you come to start your business? 

Miriam Tocino: It all came when I had my baby. So, I mean, right now I worked, we are going to be talking to, or my work actually, it's about a, how excited in the [00:04:00] world of technology can be and how it can help you to be creative right line to, to express yourself and to help other people around you.

Right. But when I was a child, Well, my dad always wanted me to go into computer science and he used to say like, medium is the future is the future. And I give them listen. And now we know he was right. I was wrong. So anyway, moved over and I went through college to study architecture. And then at some point, after working some years as an architect, I said, look, I don't. Why don't I just try something else. So my boyfriend was a computer programmer, so I was like, Hey dad, thanks for bringing this to me. And, uh, yeah, I stayed home for six months and taught myself how to code and after, um, After six months, I got my first job as a software developer, then as a programming teacher. And, uh, three [00:05:00] years ago I got pregnant and I bought my baby and I started thinking quite naturally about looking at my background, right? Like how are we going to introduce him to the world of computers and how, how it could bring some of the elements that I used in my teaching into people's homes as well.

Right. So stories were a big part. Of my teaching and it always helped me to make abstract concepts accessible and fun and keep my students engaged. So one night very late because our baby , we started saying enable them to be creative. We're writing the stories happening inside that computer with how computers, the math and graphics. And then from there on that's, how theaters were born and up until this moment. 

Ellie: I love that you've taken kind of the culmination of all of your experience and your interests and brought them to a place that serves your current life and serves your own family, but also as serving other people and bringing technology into [00:06:00] households and into an easy conversation for young people and adults alike, because I'd say there's quite a lot of adults that are a little. Wary of understanding how technology works. 

Miriam Tocino: Yes. And that's why actually, when I sat down and started to thinking about it, the whole vision for me was like, how can I get parents in bed with their children talking about technology? For me, it was not that much about being educational. So my books, they are somehow educational, but it's not the main goal. I think the main goal that we have at the moment with technology is to give our children a sense of belonging, right? Because technology can really, it's a superpower like technology, understanding how the technology around them works and how computers work. Right? Like. It can truly have an impact in their life if they are at ease with it. Right. And then they just bring it, you know, inside their toolkits to, to express themselves [00:07:00] in the world.

Ellie:  Yeah, absolutely. Like whether or not they end up working in technology, it is, it's really important to understand how technology works because it's everywhere around us and. We can see in subtle and not so subtle ways, how technology can sort of control our whole lives. If we let it, it is so convenient and there's so much of our data out there and all of these are all trade offs, right? There's so many things to think about and we have to make those be informed enough to make those choices for ourselves about where we want to draw our own minds for our own lives.

Miriam Tocino: Exactly. So it is already clear that. You know, in a world driven by technology, our children are growing up, attracted to it. There's no doubt about it. But my point with the books is like, how can we make them feel that they are also creators of technology since they are very little and to [00:08:00] get them excited about it. Right? So eventually we can reach some of them, right. And they will actually become the creators of digital future. Right. I'm very excited. 

Ellie: Very, very cool. And so a question I like to ask people is what help do you have in your business? And this could be outsourcing. This could be just in your own life.

For example, in my life I've had, I have a virtual assistant. I have a non pandemic times a cleaner that comes a couple times a month. Um, and obviously I'm at periods of my entrepreneurship journey. I've even had therapy, which is all been helpful. 

Miriam Tocino: I'd say it's the help from my husband. Yeah. Yeah. So this all started, it all started as a hobby, right? Like, Hey, you know what, they need to be cool live, you know, if, if I do this right. And there was a period in which I was like, okay, I'm going to just try it out. And it's, you know, let's see if this is fun. Right. But then at some point I was more and more thinking that, look, this could also be a career. If I set myself up for it. So, um, I talk with my husband and I said, look, this is an owner things that I'm doing. Like, I really want to give it a try. Like what can we do to set the systems at home to make it happen? And for a good while I was waking up at 6:00 AM in the morning, I would leave home with my baby and my husband is sleeping. I would go to the city center in Amsterdam. Work at that cafe at a cafe that opened at seven and work until 10 until my husband brought my baby to me, he worked me at nearby. So I was working at a coffee house, uh, next to his job. And, uh, those mornings, there were the best thing ever. And I'm glad I asked. And I'm glad about, I normally say this because it is hard sometimes, especially for moms to find that space and also to, to not feel guilty. Right. Because I felt very guilty for a while to leave my house at 6:00 AM. Right. Like that's not what a good mom does. Right. That was a huge help. And I think the business within be here without those mornings, for sure.

Ellie: Yeah. So you, you guys had a conversation within your end to find where you could both have a little bit of give and make this happen for you. And of course it was a sacrifice and some time in with your little baby and it was, but. At the same time you had carved out the space for you to chase an amazing dream. And ultimately this is going to make probably already has made life better for you and everyone in your family. Yes. Yeah. Completely. So the other question I like to ask [00:11:00] everybody is what simple systems are you using to do business with these. 

Miriam Tocino: I quit many social media channels. 

Ellie: Yes. From what I can tell you're just on Twitter, right?

Miriam Tocino: I'm only on Twitter. Yeah. Yeah. It was one of the things that, you know, came out of my collaboration with Ashley Garland that actually connected us for this podcast, which was like, okay, I don't need Instagram because. It was adding a lot of energy draining. And then the other thing that I try to focus is like, okay, how can I create a greater impact? Who are the people that I really want to reach? And where are those people? And I so realized that those people are not on Instagram, right? And not only LinkedIn for most of them. And I said like, look, my people is on Twitter. Right. But what I like about Twitter actually is to use it as a way of the community in my process documented the journey that I'm having with Zerus & Ona  and what I most like is to connect with people. And that's what I'm doing mainly, right. Like connecting yeah. With people via direct messages via, you know, writing emails. It can be that. And then do you know, one thing is what happens on social media and then the other thing it's like, Oh, you know, but there's so much stuff going on underneath that we don't normally talk about. And that's where it happens for me in the beginning. Like it's dangerous with social media, I think, right. Like to say, look, social media is my business. Social media has nothing to do with your business. It doesn't mean that you're having a greater impact. Because of anything that happens on social media. 

Ellie: Okay. So you're saying that essentially that your vanity metrics on social [00:13:00] media, your likes, your shares, your followers don't necessarily mean that your business is moving in the right direction. They can have some impact there, but that's not where the core of your business is. It's not where your impact is happening for the most part. 

Miriam Tocino: Not for me, not for me. And I soon realized that I was not serving more people like that. I noticed that it was not serving me as a person. Yeah. 

Ellie: Yeah, absolutely. I think that, that, that's something I talk about a lot is in general spending time on fewer platforms and also spending time where it's going to matter. And I find it's interesting because technically the advice that's usually given is go where your audiences and that's good advice. But also, I think you can find your audience wherever you comfort most comfortable. So I think loads of connections on Instagram, I spend all my, I run so much of my life in business, through Instagram.

I use it as a platform to show that I know what I'm talking about and that I'm a real human and I mostly use it for that too. So the people want to know more about me and maybe work with me, but like I tried Twitter, I hated Twitter, but my husband loves Twitter. I think that because I felt so comfortable on Instagram, but it felt natural for me to work and embed myself there that I found my office.

Miriam Tocino: Is it draining for you? 

Ellie: Sometimes times? Um, I think it's become more draining since the big shift about just under a year ago and Instagram, there was a big shift towards educational content. There was a big shift towards making Instagram matter more. And that is opposed to being more of an escapist type platform. And it was a big shift to it being a more political platform than it's ever been. And so I'm finding my new rhythm with Instagram, and I've also had this, this other pivot of adding and things with the podcast and stuff. So it's not just about me and building websites anymore. It's about. More. So I'm actually in the process of kind of rethinking my own relationship with Instagram. 

Miriam Tocino: I think. Yeah, because you asked about systems. Of course. It's just one, one part of the business, the whole social media, but why I bring it up it's because it can be a huge frog. At least it was for me too, to find out what was going to be the relationship that you want to have. With it, right? Yeah. Maybe some people in the audience listening today can relate to that. But for me, it was like, I really had to yearn and journal a lot about what was it at that, that it wasn't, how was it serving me and what I wanted my relationship to be with it. 

Ellie: I think that's really fair. Like social media can be. So so much we spent so much of our time on it. Um, as people in general, even without business, you know? Um, well in general, just spend a lot of time on social media. 

Miriam Tocino: Yeah. But here's the thing, like I was not using it before, so that's, I think for me, it was even like, you know, like right now I'm even in the moment in which I'm like, do I need this? What would happen if you wouldn't have this?. Right. I like to make those questions would my business be more simple. Right? Would my impact be bigger? 

Ellie: Yeah. I think being curious around that kind of stuff was really important. We don't have to follow the rules that are no rules to this. You have to make it work for you. And so I love that. I love that you are challenging those things in your own life that are even kind of across the board.

So the big topic, we are here to talk with our menstrual cycles. Tell me a little bit about that and how you've come to know so much about this and experience this. 

Miriam Tocino: When I started working on Zerus & Ona I, um, I soon started recognizing that from time to time, I would lose the motivation for the project. And in the beginning, it's like, okay, this is normal, right? Like, and then from iOS, like from time to time saying things like I'm going to quit, you know, what's the point. I don't want to do this. Right. Like, this is crazy, right? Like I'm talking with zeros and with ones, right? Like. But then on the other side, you know, there were moments in which I was like totally high, right? Like, like on top of the way, like, look, this is so cool and this is going to help. So many people and girls are going to identify with technology and they want to be, there will be becoming the healer engineers of the future. And I was like, you know, going from one side of the, other of the equation and a friend of [00:18:00] mine time before that, she had mentioned that there were some people that were working with our menstrual cycles. But in the beginning, I always thought like, look so booboo, you know, like I'm a technical person, right? I'm a software developer, like this thing of working with the one. And, uh, like to be fair, like I was a little bit hesitant towards that thing at the beginning. But as these things were happening, I was like, what if this has to do with my cycle? And I started tracking things and they were related with my cycle and I was like, wow, all my respect for the Wolf is stuff

I do got me. Right. And I started freaking out about it like four months. So I started like to make it [00:19:00] practical for people like started to. I have a Google calendar that it's specifically for my cycle. So when I'm planning things out, you know, I know exactly which day of my cycle I'm going to be. And I said, Oh, everything is started with a book from Miranda gray, the optimized woman, the optimized woman. And she gives you, it's a daily coach, a book kind of. So it's like you have a coach that it's daily saying how. You might be feeling and what your optimized tasks for that day are. One thing was reading that book again and again, and again and again, every cycle until there was a moment in which I was able to see my own tracking and comparing it to the book, but also to say like, okay, she's talking about these different tasks. Which are the tasks that are similar on nature in nature within my business and mapping those out. Right. And that Ellie is amazing. So right now, I think for the last six months, I've enabled to ultimately what I was like, the goal here for me was like, how can I be working as much as possible in a state of flow? Yeah. And I think for the last six months, I could say that I've been working on a state of flow for 90% of the time. 

Ellie: That is incredible. My word for the year is flow actually. And the word flow is interesting because it is often used just with periods and with the menstrual cycle in general. Um, so I kind of liked that idea that when you kind of tune into that, that you. Or working with your flow. I like that you were working within a flow. 

[00:21:00] Miriam Tocino: My words for the year is trust your flow is really hard, I think, um, in, in this culture, right? Because you get so many, one thing, for example, that I, I, I was a struggling with was like, there's a wide message. About find your model calendar, right? Like what's your week, like? Right. Like, uh, do you have, right? Like, and then one days for this, the other thing is like, I have to stop that and having that confidence or saying, look, this doesn't work for me. I don't work on a weekly basis. I work on a cycle basis. I think we need to be talking more about this. Right because, and that's why we're doing here. It's the first time that I'm talking this like publicly, no one knows I'm not this old thing, but my whole notion, right? Like to [00:22:00] talk to talk about systems, my whole notion is actually organized in the form of cycles. 

Ellie: So you use notion to track your tasks and your routine and your cycle, and kind of all parts of your business.

Miriam Tocino: I don't do that. I've already attracted right. Already attracted. Now what I do, it's like I capture things on my cycle. 

Ellie: Okay. So what do you mean by that? 

Miriam Tocino: Like notion for me is I'm kind of double checking if, if I'm adding too much to the cycle. Okay. If I need to let things go, right? Like, uh, if I need to move easily things for the next cycle. Right. Like, it's kind of, yeah. It's like a capture. It's like a bucket organized in cycles. 

Ellie: Tell me a bit about like what each phase of your cycle kind of looks like in your business. 

Miriam Tocino: Okay. So for the people listening that don't know, just like a little intro to the phases of your cycle, there are four phases, right?

First of them is reflexive, which is reflective, which is the parts in the right now. I'm a little confused. I don't know if it's reflexive for reflective, how they talked about it, the optimized woman, but anyhow, it's the menstruation phase, right? Which is like that moment in which you are more inward and you need to be more gentle to yourself and your whole body is actually doing a great job on, on the physical side of things.

And then there's a second phase, which is the dynamic phase. And then there was expressive phase and there is a creative phase and that's about the phases and my whole life. I had always known that look, you were either misreading, you either had PMs and that was it. Right. And just to be clear, I'm not an expert on the, you know, [00:24:00] medical part of things. I just read what it was there and I tried to use it for my business. So yeah, I'm thinking, how can we make it as useful as possible for people? So, uh, well, let's start there. So they won the whole reflective phase. It's meant to be a phase for listening and for letting yourself go with the flow and for resting, right.

So even if you have a day job right now, think about the times in which I had a day job. And I, I think about was I menstruating? Was I taking the night off, right? Like, was I taking, you're not like, and I don't think I had, right. So even if you're having a day job, you know, it can be that look that they, instead of finishing at four, you finish at, you know, two, right. And then you go on, do something else. For me what it looks like at the moment. So I use it to do a lot of colorist studies, like things that are very easy and that I love to do in mind. And also everything comes from a place of intuition. So you can really see that things just flow there if you allow it to.

Right. And then it's also a phase in which you may want to be writing a lot of stuff. That pops to your mind, because you are open, you're fully listening to anything that comes through and you should really take it to heart because in that phase of your cycle, it's like, this is true stuff that you have to deal with.

Right. And kind of what you're doing there. It's like, you're preparing yourself for your next cycle. So then around the six around day seven, what I normally do, it's like I create my to-do list for the cycle. And then I normally have like one, two different kind of tasks, one it's, more marketing, business sales related. And the other one it's more product creation. Right? Those are the two different sites. And then I have administration and operations. So those are the three areas that I divide my business in. And the first days of your new cycle, which is like eight, nine, 10, just do your admin and operation stuff. You are like a rocket on those three days.

It's like, I'm just going to do as much as possible. So it's like when you do all your Pomodoros sometime, you know, when you're more neurologic or you're more structure, you know, when you are like, On those days, really? Like I can take care of things that in other parts of my cycle, it's like, I don't want to do this.

So example of this tasks for me are like, it's when I do my finances in half an hour, I have my finances done every month, every cycle, because I do it on day seven. Right. They don't buy up. And then, uh, things like in my case, it's publishing things on Amazon, which takes a lot of time because you need to upload check here, double check there. Like it's a lot of detailing and a lot of, so all those things they happen in the dynamic phase and then the expressive phase, it's more for, uh, writing, marketing material, making visibility opportunities. Like reaching out to people and having all the meetings that I have. So I have the expressive phase, which is one week and all my meetings are scheduled in that week.

In other parts of my cycle, you ask me like half, four meetings on a day and I'm like, no way that week I'm like, bring them in. I can, I can just like, I'm totally there. And then the creatives phase, which for me, it's like a little longer than one week. It's when I focus on product creation. 

Ellie: All right. So sort of what I'm hearing is that like when you're menstruating, so in that part of your phase, you are really, it's a time to kind of re recoup, recover and look inward.

And then in your first main phase, the expressive phase, I think, is that right? Dynamic phase, you are like just firing on all cylinders. It's a good time to tackle. Like everything, anything and everything. 

Miriam Tocino: And also, it is very important that you don't have any meeting during that week, or at least it's very important for me that I don't have any meeting that week because in that meeting, you're very ego focused, which means that if you have something to do and you might be having a meeting with another person.

Even within your family, we are not talking only about business. Like I talk with my husband when I'm on that week, when it's like, look, I need these week for myself, I'm going to be a little bit out. Right. But if I get everything done this week, I'm just, you could say like, you're clearing out your whole cycle. So you have a clean space to go into when you're in your creative and your reflective faces. Right. You could also look at it like that. 

Ellie: So it's a time to really. You, you, you clear up other things that you can really focus on the tasks. And then I'm kind of hearing that the expressive phase is really a really good time where you're feeling like you not only want to, but are great at connecting with people. And so that's where your meetings and such come in and these types of calls and these opportunities for interviews and things might be really good to schedule those because you're feeling great at that, that personal touch kind of part of life. And then from there, the creative, like deeper work. So not the like tasks that you're handling in the dynamic phase, but the deep creative work is happening at the end there. And then you start over. Yes. Cool. 

Miriam Tocino: Yes. Like that sounds super simple, but I'm like, how are we doing [00:30:00] this more often? How is it that in schools? No one talks to us about this, right? 

Ellie: Yeah. Yeah, totally. I think there's another, the parts that I'm really curious about, which you may not, not have the answer, but I would need to go and research is like, I have an IUD, no idea what that means for my cycle tracking. It messes with my hormones. Right. So I don't, know, I don't, I don't tend to menstruate. Like I just don't. So, um, um, um, but yeah, so there there's other sides to that, that we. As society tend to, as women tend to have to be the ones that are handling our family planning, which means that if you are currently not in a phase where you want kids, you might be on some sort of added hormones that you're going to have to think through, which is, I think why all of that careful tracking you did in the first couple of years of this project comes in so much handy. You don't know just how it works for the general body, you know, your own body. So very well. 

Miriam Tocino: Yes. I think that's why this is also something that it's not that easy to teach, because it requires a lot of personal development. Right? Yeah. And realizing like, Oh, wow. Right. This is happening in the same day as last cycle.

I need to be careful next time. Right. So it can be also like that you have an argument, right? Like, I don't really like conflict, but I do. See myself in a couple of moments, and I'm not only talking about PMs. There are some moments in ovulation when you are like, when the egg breaks that you have like a kind of symptom, which is like pre PMs, then you recover.

You are like super high again. And then you go down again right now. I know that those, that moment happens around day 15. So in day 15, I might have a sad day because my egg just broke and right now I tell my husband normally lays it. Like, look, I think my egg just broke because you have like a sudden drop of demeanor. Right. 

Ellie: And you invite a brick. You mean it coming away from the fallopian tube and going into the uterus. 

Miriam Tocino: Yeah. And that's the moment in which is like a, look, your body knows that it's not going to be. Um, that you're not going to be a mom. Right. And then there was that moment of, you know, kind of grief, right?

Ellie: When your body realizes that it's, it has an attached into solving a successful implantation. Right. 

Miriam Tocino: Which makes total sense when you think about it, right? Like it's not, uh, and right now being so much tuning that you understand that that's going on inside your body in the moment that it's happening.

Ellie: Yeah, I'm just listening to this and thinking how bad they are. I need to start [00:33:00] tracking this, especially like, especially once I get my IUD out in January, but maybe even before that, because there's times where, like, I don't know what's going on with the hormones because I have an IUD, but also, and I have a, I don't, we didn't talk about this before, but I actually have a background in biology.

So that side of things, the medical side, well, it's a little fuzzy from my degree days. Um, I do understand pretty well. But like there's times that, you know, my husband will be like, Oh, he'll be like, what's wrong. I'm like, I don't know. Just say, and if I had a better understanding of what's happening in my body, I probably could actually give him a genuine answer, which would help him because he's a really like pragmatic person. And if I had a real answer other than I'm just sad. 

Miriam Tocino: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And here's the thing, like our communication just got much better because of this understanding. Like right now, I'm about to start the end of my cycle. And I know that like, I even made a note of it, right? Like on day 23, 20, you know, communicate that to your husband, say that you are going to be more sustainable, you know, that he might be taking care of the baby more, you know, like ask for it as a favor before things, you know, like get out of control.

Right. Because it's not that you are about. I think like in sociality, the problem is sometimes that, you know, it's like you become a bad person those days. Right. And I think we need to make an effort to also not to just say like, look, I'm just sad, you know? Like, and it's like, it's my, it's the other, the other, the other day we were in the park and then one adult came. And he said, like we were talking about, I don't know. And then he was like, no, because they were, they were talking and they had like a more, a more feminine reaction, you know, like they got angry because of this. And I was like, what. 

Ellie: I totally get what you're saying there though. I totally get it. Like there's often this, this narrative and society that women can't handle certain types of things because we're too emotional and that's linked to our hormones and our cycles.

And that somehow that makes us. Ill-equipped for certain positions of power or certain leadership roles or certain whatever. Um, and that's honestly like mostly a whole load of hoo ha like it just BS. But then on top of that, like you're right. If people were to be understanding what's happening inside them, there is an extra layer of that where we would all be more in control, everybody in society.

Yeah. Traditionally, 

Miriam Tocino: you know, when, when women were administrating in the tribes, you know, like they would all go together to the forest, right. And reunite, you know, and that, that was happening for years. Right. And again, like, I think not talking about it in the rule book kind of language and narrative also will [00:36:00] help men.

Probably to jump in, right. Because of what you said, like they normally tend to be more pragmatic, you know, they really want to understand, you know, they don't really care about this stuff, you know, and it's hard for the population going on, you know, with these rhythm. Right. So, and also one, one, one time I mentioned these and then an older boss told me, yes, I know that I cannot ask the same from women that men.

And I did not reply at the time, but we are not talking about this. It's not that we cannot handle the same amount as right. But it is more that we have a specific superpowers in each of the phases. 

Ellie: Yeah. Yes, yes. I love that. Where it's not, we have failings in certain parts of super powers in certain parts of our cycles.

Miriam Tocino: Exactly. If it can be as productive. The only thing it's like, we live in a culture where most of the times our abilities in the dynamic phase are understood as productive, right. Because you're just tackling things down. 

Ellie: Right. You're taking things off the list and that feels in our society. That is. Successful in a way. 

Miriam Tocino: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Just being here, you know, and then looking at the window, you know, and daydreaming, because you are in your day of daydreaming and envisioning, right. Like unseen things and letting things come to you. Right. Like, and also that part of, you know, working with your intuition, right? Like, until I started doing this, I didn't have a clue. What was the work with my intuition. 

Ellie: I think a lot of us are like that. Like I'm getting better, but there's, and there's tools that some of the other guests at this park hasn't talked about, like journaling and such, but are tapping into our intuition is one of, I think the number one things we need to do to be living in alignment, um, with ourselves, our goals, um, with our, you know, our family and our partnerships that we develop in relationships.

And it can be, you know, it takes time like you put off because not, it takes a lot of time and energy to be in tune with yourself that way to journal and be known who you are and whatever form that that takes. I, I tend to journal because that works for me. But other people might do yoga, or I know a lot of people in Ireland to your love to do cold water swimming.

Um, those kinds of things. There's other forms from this. Uh, cycle tracking loads of ways to do this, but you have to sort of have to, if you want to, I think if you want to live in that really like good aligned life. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me if somebody wanted to get started with cycle tracking. What if, what are a few tools or resources they could get?

[00:39:00] Miriam Tocino: Okay. The book, the optimized woman, I think that's the best to start off because also it comes in a very straightforward language. And then, you know exactly on which day you are like the book you read that day and you just start listening, you start tracking and you start seeing these things actually fall into place with, for you or not.

And, uh, then there's this other coach Claire Baker that I really liked. She's on Instagram. She's based on London in London at the moment. And she also has very, what I like about her Instagram is that she has this stories organized by the day of your cycle. You can actually see how her life looks like on a specific day or a cycle.

I find that very inspiring as well, because. You just take it on that day. Right. And then you select, Oh yeah, Claire was the same as I was. We are on this together, right? 

Ellie: Yeah.. I'll do some all. I'll see if I can find her on Instagram and put that in the show notes. Cause that sounds awesome. So what would you say your biggest win in business so far has been? 

Miriam Tocino: I think it's related to the cycle that we are talking. So it's, it's coming to a place in which I'm like, look, Miriam, you need to work with your cycle.

And it's not easy because sometimes, especially when, when it comes down to, when it comes down to reach out, you know, to doing more visibility stuff, there was a moment for me, which has like, no, you know, you know what Fridays are going to be for visibility, you know, like Fridays I'm all out, you know, like, and then come into a place in which has like Miriam Fridays, all Fridays.

Don't work for you. Right. But you have these three days in the middle of your cycle that you're like, give me a list of schools, you know, like I'm gonna reach out to 200 schools today, you know, instead of three schools per week. 

Ellie: Right. Right. So you're actually being more efficient. 

Miriam Tocino: I'm bought in with my cycle in the moment that I feel like it.

Ellie: Yeah. Yeah. So you're tuning into your natural rhythms and, and it's working for you, which is sort of why we're here talking about it. 

Miriam Tocino: Yeah, yeah, exactly. But yeah. Well, I'll give my email later because, you know, I think like this is a very wide topic and for each person would be different. So if anyone in the audience wants to know more about it, like I'm happy to geek out.

Right. So we barely touched the, you know, the tip of the iceberg. But yeah, I think that's been one of the biggest wins because before doing this, I was constantly, you know, having feelings of burnout right. Or having feelings of not doing the things that I was supposed to be doing. You know, that moment when you are like doing something and you said like, I don't feel like doing this.

[00:42:00] I think those moments, we need to be very careful about those. Yeah. It can be that you don't like part of your job, but if they become too many. It's dangerous. And then asking whether you don't like them now because you are in X part of your cycle, but you will love it. Like example, finances taking care of my money, you know, making money and all related to money.

Right. Like, I don't like to do anything about it in a specific moment that you ask me to do something, you know, the next cycle or, and I am like, how are we going to make money? 

Ellie: Yeah. Right. So you have, so you really have kind of fine tune, really the phases of your cycle and where it really works to be running your business and the different parts of the different hats that we talked about.

The star put it, you know, when to put on a hat and when to take it off, which is the most important part. 

Miriam Tocino: So I would say that to make it practical for people, because it can be very vague why I'm mentioning that it's because one, another resource would be. Every time that you are feeling like you're doing something that you don't want to do, got to those moments, track them down and see if there's a specific moment in your cycle where you can do those instead.

Ellie: Right. And kind of playing around with that until you get it right. And if it never works for you, then it's a whole different assessment. Or just stopping it completely or whatever.

Miriam Tocino: Exactly. Because it can be that look to today, you feel like you want to, you know, and right now what I'm doing, it's like, can I tune into that?

And the more you can tune in to the thing that you feel like doing, I think the closest you will be to the closer you will be to your inner cycle. 

Ellie: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So. We've got a couple more questions. What has been your biggest mistake or learning experience so far? 

Miriam Tocino: Motherhood has been a very humbling experience.

Ellie: I can't, I honestly like I can only guess. Um, I've never been a mother. I have friends who are, my parents, had my kids sibling when I was 11. I essentially, you know, from a very young age, helped raise them. But no, the whole thing, motherhood seems like a whole bag of that stuff like that, as, 

Miriam Tocino: So finding out that, Ooh, and everyone is different as well. Right. So everyone takes motherhood in it's like with cycles, right? Like your cycle is like, no one else's. I mean, your relationship with motherhood is the same. So. For me, you know, like having to quit my career and staying at home with a baby. And so you're not like everything was settled from the very beginning.

Like he's going to go kindergarten. He's, we'll be there. We will drop him there at the time. You know, we'll pick him up later, like everything was settled. And then the whole thing was like, no, you know what? I want to be with him. And then not having that planned beforehand, you know, but also at the same time wanting to be doing my own thing.

Right. Like, and then. Trying to, to bring all those pieces together in the puzzle. I think that that's huge. That's huge. And also like it made me, I think motherhood's sometimes they say like, you need to slow down to speed up again. Yeah. And I think that's what motherhood made me do. Right? Like it allowed me to say, look, medium, take your time.

You know, what have you done during the past? You know, how do you want to spend the time moving forward? 

Ellie: Yeah. And are you working on anything you're excited, excited about? I know you're working on book three. Do you want to tell us a little bit. 

Miriam Tocino: I'm working on book three, but also like something that it's telling my [00:46:00] cycle, my cycle is telling me this this month is that I need to be doing more shorter stories.

And I told myself not to do that. I said like, no, that's not going to be my goal. That's not going to be my goal. But the wrap it up the episode with talking about the cycle, it's like, That thing it's been very loud for the past weeks in my head. And I think I need to own, or that, yeah. So I said like, look, you know what, maybe I need to start doing a weekly, shorter story and put it out there.

Ellie: That's very, very cool that that sort of intuition in all of this thing has built up to where you, you know, you're, you know, what's going to work for you and what's in alignment with that way. Yeah. And finally, where can people find you. 

Miriam Tocino: The best thing is to send me an email. So miriam@zerusandona.Com. I love email.

I love to connect with people. So especially if you want to talk about cycles and, uh, yeah, like I'm old there. 

Ellie: Well, thank you so much. This has been a really cool conversation, like about, so much to think about. 

Miriam Tocino: Yeah, we haven't covered much, you know, but it's an intro to, I hope it inspires people to know more about their inner cycle and to get, to have the impression that there's another way of doing things, right.

If things are not working for you at the moment, if things are working a, you know, like keep it up. Right. But. It might be, that's what happened to me that things are not working and this understanding fix it yeah. In a very pragmatic way. So if people get like that with them yeah. 

Ellie: Um, well, thank you again for coming on the podcast today.

Miriam Tocino: Thank you so much, Ellie, for having me today. This was fun.

[00:48:00] Ellie: Thank you for listening to the capable collective podcast. I really hope you enjoy this episode and have gotten value from it. If you did, please subscribe on your chosen listening platform. And if you happen to be listening over on Apple podcasts, please take a moment to leave a review. It helps other people to find and trust this podcast.

And it would mean the world to me, this episode was edited by Emily Crosby media. She's amazing to work with. And if you are looking to start a podcast or for some practical media solutions, definitely check her out. Thank you so much. Again, have a great day.